Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Chirp Chirp

Excuse me while I examine my navel...

"Chirp Chirp" is either the sound of the crickets or the car alarm being armed - in this case, it represents a hiatus from posting. I took a hiatus from school once and was never able to return. Perhaps that won't be the case here.

It occurs to me that my readership of this blog is next to nothing and I've been wondering if I can find something else a little more important to waste my time on. For example, I can get back to writing music that people won't listen to. I can also develop classes that people won't attend. I can paint paintings that people won't look at and do research that will never be published. I have long dreamt of serving on a mission field only to find that the door remains closed to me.

The one thing I do that seems to mean anything to anyone else is performing arts. I don't get a big reaction out of my own music, but I have been encouraged to perform other people's music. Frankly, I don't know what people see in me on stage. I know I can get up and open my mouth and later people say how much they like to hear me sing. I seem to do pretty well at drama, too. Actually, I'm a little disturbed by the attention. In a way, t's encouraging, but I certainly don't deserve any of it. The reality is I'm not good enough to make a career at it as much as I would like to. I don't have any exposure to the music industry and I don't have any resources or contacts. I certainly don't know where to find them. One thing's for certain - I don't rule the stage. I understand jazz great Wynton Maralis used to hate the stage. Some gigs he would stand behind a closed curtain and stick the bell of his horn through and play that way. I share the sentiment, not for any hatred of a group of people, but because of the tension between the need to be encouraged and the need to not accept any praise for myself.

I suppose I could come back to this in short order if I find that more people read this than show up on the hit counter. Most likely, that's not the case. When I do return to the blogosphere, I will most likely revamp the site, as well as my approach, in an attempt to make it more appealing.

Until then...


Blogger Mark Pemberton said...

Welcome to the abyss of the digital world. We've been sucked in to a hole hungry for more bits, only to chew it up and add to the fatty megabytes around it's waist. Does the fat ever get examined by the whole? Most doesn't. Instead it gently rests in its own little space, untouched, and raw. The more we add to it, the more we hope it sticks out just enough for a bypasser to recognize as a noteworthy chunk of information. We are Blog.

As you look at my blog, I have crumbs compared to you, yet we quite equal in recognition. Is that what we seek? Or is there something else we're seeking? I ask myself why I even have a blog. Honesty says that I have a blog to have it. Another part of me wants to share my views with the world (although going unnoticed). I guess it does come down to it being more of an outlet for me to express my opinion of something. Granted I have MANY more opinions, but some I holster because of conviction.

It sounds like you've been beaten down pretty hard recently. I understand the grief. Seems like we're running as fast as we can to make a difference, but appears to us as we've gone nowhere. Where's the encouragement we need to move on? Both of us know it's from the Lord. We both know that His load is light, our's is heavy. Why is it so hard for us to give Him our load? I guess we just need to slow down and focus our minds on Him, letting Him encourage us through His word. Disconnect from the world for a little while and spend some time with the family. I think the wive's have planned a time for all of us to get together. That'll be nice....

Don't fret over your works my bro. It doesn't go unnoticed....

Fri Mar 24, 11:24:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger Jim Pemberton said...

Yeah... Just fighting a little discouragement lately, bro. I need to focus my efforts more where they actually matter - if I can figure out what that is. Thanks for the encouragement.

Fri Mar 24, 11:59:00 PM GMT-5  

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