Husbands, Are Your Prayers Hindered? Do You Understand Your Wives?

I have heard this numerous times among men. With a chuckle of knowing resignation one may tell another what his wife does that doesn’t make sense to him. “There’s just no understanding women,” they might say.

Is this right?

In a larger passage about being subject to each other, Peter writes:

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7 ESV)

Peter admonishes Christian husbands to understand their wives and live in accordance with that understanding. Not only is it possible for a husband to understand his wife, it is commanded. Husband, you study cars, sports statistics, politics, or whatever else you are interested in. Yet you refuse to study your wife to know her better? Study her like your life depended on it.

The effect is that the wife of a Christian husband will be honored. Perhaps you don’t want to honor your wife. Why did you marry her if you didn’t want to honor her? You show yourself to be a fool for an honored wife will glorify her husband. (1 Cor 11:17)

Ultimately, however, the result of not doing this is that the husband’s prayers will be hindered. I said study her like your life depended on it. If you’re prayers are your connection with the One who gives you life, then your life indeed depends on understanding your wife and living like it.

Christian husband, an amazing way to fulfill this is to pray for your wife. You should be doing this anyway, but I know that many do not. I have seen miracles happen in marriages where husbands pray for their wives. The next miracle could be for you.

The Responsibility of Understanding the Truth

I'm a production controller. That means I handle communications from Order Entry, Project Managers, Product Engineering and Master Scheduling and plan the resources of my plant to produce what is needed to fill the orders. If it sounds boring, it is.

One of the many things I do is provide feedback on the quality of information I receive. For example, Product Engineering provides drawings, creates the bills of material and the order details. Our Computer Numeric Controlled (CNC) router operators use the drawings to program their routers to make necessary cutouts. It helps that I've worked in both Product Engineering and CNC Programming for the turret presses in another of our plants.

Our CNC router operators do a great job with no more training than they have considering that they have to program the machines on the fly. With this in mind, they require a certain balance between simplicity and detail to the drawings they receive. Having engineered the products and drafted their drawings, I know intimately what is required. The engineers have argued that the operators should be able to figure out what they need from the drawings. I argue that the engineers have a higher level of education than the operators and must draw according to the operators' ability to understand.

I have three kids aged 11, 9 and 4. When my oldest was 4, he was still learning to tie his shoes. I had to do it for him. He could get his shoes on, but couldn't tie them yet. Now, he ties his shoes just fine. My current 4-year-old can't tie his shoes. When we are going out the door, I tell my 11-year-old to put his shoes on and get in the van and he does it. I can even tell him to tie the shoes of his little brother. What I don't do is tell my 4-year-old to tie his own shoes. I'm going to make sure that he's not left behind just because he can't tie his own shoes.

I believe the Bible when it says that God is unchanging. There are infants in the faith that cannot handle this truth yet. I have to ask myself why God has inspired the human writers of the Bible to anthropomorphize Him from time to time as though He changes His mind. The reason is that He fully understand that different Christians are at different places on the long path to spiritual maturity and understanding. How does a young believer think to pray to a God who will not change? Nevertheless as he learns who God is and how to approach God for effectual prayer, he can be challenged with greater and more difficult truths and doctrines.

Here is the challenge for those who would instruct the young in faith. We must be willing to work with someone where they are and vie to improve their understanding as they mature. The level of discourse of some Christians who seek to provide a sure apologetic would poison the faith of those whose faith is weak by requiring them to tie their theological shoes before they are able. We must be careful not to do this. All of us were young once. Just like it is incumbent on my engineers to draw for the level of understanding of the operators, it is incumbent on the Christians with stronger faith to deal theologically with those who are weaker on a level they can understand in order to strengthen them over time.