Schrödinger's Other Cat

I stole this photo from anth0nyc. (If you want to see some of the most interesting photography on the Internet, check out his site.)

And...

If you know something of theoretical quantum physics - or own a cat, you'll get the humor of this.



The theory is that there's only one cat.

The Perfect Microsoft Windows

While in India, several of the Indian Kewaunee associates used the notebooks above. It's hard to miss the logo here. I figure Microsoft finally came up with the perfect version of it's Windows platform. This version will never crash. It has word-processing, drawing capabilities, and even spreadsheet capabilities to name a few. Take this baby to the library and you have access to much of what you can find on the Internet.

Math functions are pretty extreme too. Not only can you do the simple stuff like adding and subtracting, but algebra, trig and geometry are a breeze. But this thing can also handle advanced calculus as well as handle the most advanced scientific data.

As for it's physical requirements: It's affordable. It's fully mobile and doesn't require a power connection or have batteries that go dead or go bad. No upgrades are required. Boot up time is incredibly fast. Merely open it and it's ready to go. When the memory is full, simply buy another one at the same low rate. Best of all, it's impervious to all viruses and the operating system never has to be reloaded. No costly maintenance or installations are required.

The only accouterments sold seperately that you will need to purchase are writing implements: any pens, pencils, etc., according to your needs.

And what about specialty programs? You can paste photos on any page or document therein. You can scrapbook to your hearts desire. You can produce documents in any format with any font you desire without having to learn any complex menu commands or go through difficult to search help files. You can do drafting without expensive CAD programs. You may question whether you can listen to your favorite music. Just hum. Any tune is possible while you use this version of Windows.

Perhaps the only drawback is there are no means for watching videos. Sorry, you have to turn on the TV for that or go to the movies. You can do video editing with the capability to edit individual frames, however. Just produce each frame on a different page and flip through them. You'll be amazed. You can speed up the action, slow it down, pause it, etc., all without coming close to crashing the system.

You may wonder about social networking. It's incredible! You can visit your friends or call them on the phone and exchange notes, photos, memories and current status in person!!

Well, that's it. Microsoft has outdone themselves this time.

Dust Bunnies

My oldest son's rabbit was out in the living room while his cage was being cleaned. I found him under the end table where we needed to clean yet and he looked like he was trying to be inconspicuous among the dust bunnies. I added the caption at lolcats: I Can Has Cheezburger.

Uncle Jay Explains the News of 2008

Ok, this is simply hilarious. Without further ado:

Hitler Gets Burned Investing in Real Estate

I just thought this was hilarious. I know the economy is in bad shape because of the corruption surrounding the Fannie MAE / Freddy MAC, but there's a point at which you can't take this world too seriously. There is a world to come where there will be no corruption.

Enjoy:

Schrödinger's Tube

To all my fellow physics geeks out there:

Mixed-Discipline Humor

A. Why did the fe-mail server reject the forward advances of the e-mail server?

B. Because he had attachment issues.

Off to London

It seems like only a couple of weeks ago I was in Venezuela...

Actually, I was. One of these days I'll get around to posting some photos and accounts here. I already have some photos up on Facebook. (I'm not sure if you'll be able to access these - I have the albums tagged for "everyone". It is what it is.)

I'm leaving to day for London for more ministry. I can't be too specific, but we have a specific people group we are reaching out to and God is doing great things there. As you are led, please pray for us. Aside from standing up for long periods of time, the physical work isn't too demanding. However, the spiritual warfare can be tedious. From the teams that have been going on throughout the summer, the response has been tremendous. However, the spiritual warfare is no less than it ever was. Our spiritual enemy doesn't like what we're doing I'm sure and a productive year easily causes people to become lax. Pray that we would continue to bear the gospel well.

While I'm gone, I'll leave you with some lighter things to keep you occupied. When I'm feeling down, the following two sites are sure to give me a good chuckle if not a serious belly laugh:

If you like cats:
Lolcats: I Can Has Cheezburger?

Examples:





If you like dogs:
Loldogs: I has a hotdog

Examples:







Then, someone takes Garfield comics and photoshopped Garfield out of the picture leaving only Jon Arbuckle looking hilariously mentally disturbed. These can be found at Garfield minus Garfield.

Examples:

Translator Torture

This video on the torture of a perfectly good translator is making it's rounds among ministerial blogs:




If you've never used a translator or tried to translate yourself, you might not get it.

I have some experience using translators. Currently we use two primary translators in Venezuela as well as one or two other Venezuelans who have learned some English. Actually, only one can accurately be called a translator, reciting almost word-for-word what is said. The others are better referred to as interpreters. I still find it disconcerting when I say something that takes only a very few words and the interpreter takes two or three sentences to convey my intended meaning. My attention span is dubious at best and it's a humorous way to cut to questions while I try to get my train of thought back on track.

Silly me once tried to use a translator to have a congregation of mostly Spanish-only and English-only speakers sing a simple praise chorus in both languages simultaneously. The resulting confusion was a lesson in disunity.

We have a preacher who travels with us who brings his favorite hand-puppet, Baggie the Bear. One year, he used Baggie to introduce a sermon. he has a special silly voice that he uses with Baggie. the funny thing was the translator imitated his voice in Spanish when he translated for Baggie.

One last thing. I had a translator once who I knew had studied his theological terms in Spanish, so I was comfortable taking the level of discourse up a notch. I brought up the term "propitiation" and was immediately asked by someone in the class to define it. I made the mistake of including the word "atonement" in the first sentence of my explanation. Even in Spanish, it's helpful to keep things simple.

Has Anyone Seen My Kids?

I saw this strange creature today:



It told me, "Boogeley! Boogeley! Boogeley! I am the hair monster and I have your daughter! Give me twenty bucks and I'll let her go!" Then I heard my daughter cry for help, "Help me! Help me!"

Then I saw this:



He said only, "I'm a dude."

Thank goodness!

I've been laughing all evening.

Humor From Purgatorio

One humorous Christian blog that was left to lie fallow for a time has recently been reactivated. Marc Heinrich sees the value in letting his readers participate in the humor. Let me introduce Purgatorio to you. One of the types of reader participation is "You Supply the Caption". As an example, here are excerpts from the comments from a recent post:



"The rabbi again demonstrated his empeccable [sic] bowling form."

"The Hebrew Hammer’s sensei, a practicioner [sic] of Jew Do."

"An Orthodox master demonstrates the reverse testicle grab and yank, a signature technique of the homegrown Israeli art of self-defense - Jew Jitsu."

"Rabbi Greenpeace’s description of the Palestinian crossing into Egypt yesterday…using interpretive dance."

"Watch how I use this new Tai Chi technique to scratch my back."

"Sure, Matisyahu can rap. But can he do this?"

"Do a little dance, make a little love, Get down tonight. Get down tonight."

"Sadly, the Ninjew has not mastered the invisibility of the Ninja."

"Press release photo for coming movie: Crouching Rabbi, Hidden Hasid."

"I’m a little teapot…"

"Batrabbi takes to the streets of Goyim City in defense of peace, justice and the Hebrew way!"

"And all the goyim say I’m pretty fly, for a rabbi."

"Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh; Walk like an Egyptian"

“The Hassid is in the HOUSE!!!”

The Arminian Flower

Here's some humor from David Dockery, President of Union University, at the Building Bridges conference this week:

"If TULIP is the flower of the Calvinists, the Arminian flower is the daisy: 'He loves me, He loves me not, He loves me, He loves me not."

Humorous Christian Choir Pronunciation

Anyone who has sung in a choir for Christmas has been admonished to sing Hallelujah as such: "Hah - leh - loo - yah" rather than "Haw - lay - lew - yuh". But having sung in church choirs much of my adult life, I have built several humorous mis-pronunciations. Here are a few off the top of my head:

"Praise we the Lore..."
or "Lore, have mercy." (This would be Data's brother from Star Trek TNG - don't forget the final "d")

"God of gray sand, God of glory" (Well, He did make all the sand, even the gray colored sand.)

From O Holy night: "O knight, de-vine" (It's the only way to save the tree.)

Lead On, Oh Kinky Turtle (Not really a pronunciation issue, but listen to this choral sound-alike next time you sing this one in church - you won't hear this one the same ever again - I've warped your ear for life.)

The Lord's Prayer: "...lead a snot into temptation..." (This one is hard not to sing. Almost unavoidable.)

"Amazing grey sow, sweet the sound" (Oink? This is another unavoidable sound-alike.)

If any of you are choir members and have similar ones you've noticed, feel free to share.

Team Tominthebox, of the satirical blog Tominthebox News Network (TBNN) held a competition for an honorary doctorate for readers who commented with a short satire of their own. I entered, but didn't win - yet. Here was my entry:

Joel Osteen Repents In a new book by Joel Osteen, entitled Still Living an Average Life, Osteen reveals that a study by the Barna Research Group discovered that the people who followed his teaching were no wealthier than people who didn't. In the book Osteen wrote, "I repent that I have not spoken clearly enough in the past. The fact that I have the largest church in the United States is evidence that the message of prosperity works. However, my followers must not be applying this truth effectively." Osteen says he plans to restore the use of his church as an arena for sports and concerts during the week and give the money to the people who attend his church so they can show financial gains. "God will bless this effort and prove that He wants us to have all that we desire," said Osteen in a press release following the release of his book in stores.

Congratulations to the winner, Lance King. You can find Lance's site at http://nhoriginal.blogspot.com/. This was his entry:

Since 1987, the United Church of Christ (UCC) has been following its mandate to be an open and affirming fellowship. In recent years the UCC – whose roots include various Reformed traditions – has generated considerable media buzz with its ad campaign depicting church patrons being ejected from their pews. The UCC has prided itself in its open and affirming posture towards people of all sexual orientations. So it came as no surprise this week when UCC spokesperson Rev. Jenda Ambigus announced the UCC's latest strategy to add conservative Christians to the list of affirmed people.

“We realized we couldn't continue to call ourselves open and affirming if we didn't include all theological options. Beginning next month, we'll be welcoming our first token conservative into our fellowship. We're not sure why he wanted to join us, but we welcome diversity as long as he joins us for our gay pride parade.”

Reaction to the news has been mixed. Exuberant conservatives from other churches hope for great reforms in this mainline denomination. Longtime UCC members, however, are skeptical.

“We're open and affirming,” said Houston church member, Mauri Bund. “But I'm not sure so sure about these conservatives. The way they insist on getting in your face with their Bibles just makes me feel sick. If they want to read Paul or Peter behind closed doors, that's fine. Just don't subject me and my partner to that kind of stuff. We don't want to see that sort of thing out in the open.”

Rev. Ambigus sympathizes with such concerns, noting that the UCC is currently designing a mandatory sensitivity training course which will aid conservative pastors in creatively “reinterpreting” key biblical passages that might otherwise create disunity.

You can read all of the entries here.
http://tominthebox.blogspot.com/

Think Inside the Box

Who says theology is dry, especially Reformed theology? Theologians do have a sense of humor. For those of you who may be interested in Theological parody and satire, have a look at Tominthebox where you will be challenged to think inside the box. Recent "news" items include the following:

So Easy a Calvinist Can Do It - Insurance for the Reformed. You, too, may have been preselected for insurance.

Only a few short months after releasing Calvinix, a drug for guarding the minds of Arminians against Reformed theology, Phinney Pharmaceuticals has recalled the product. Apparently Arminians have attended Reformed sermons after having taken the product and have come away understanding Calvinism.

The TULIP VBS put on by the First Baptist Church in Macon, GA, had a surprising effect. Expecting an angry backlash from the church community, the parents were pleased that their children were coming home discussing the doctrines of grace starting with Total Depravity and culminating in the Perseverance of the Saints.

Another drug offering, Spiritryl, is now available for charismatics "when being filled just isn't enough."

A protest in Armenia where Armenian Christians are upset over being called Arminians.

Farmin' Convention

We ate in Morganton on the way back from Asheville last night. Afterward, my wife speculated on the convention the waitress had told us about. The waitress had told us that we came at a good time. There had been some sort of convention in town and the restaurant had just recovered from the rush of people from the convention.

Lois mentioned that she couldn't imagine so many fire fighters in one place. That's not what I heard. I said, "I thought she said it was convention of farmers?"

Lois responded, "No! She said it was a 'fireman convention'!"

We about threw up we laughed so hard.